TriVeggies

I turned 44 last month, and shortly after my big day I made a decision: As of this new age, I was no longer going to hide my pace on Strava.

This may seem like an insignificant thing, a throwaway choice, but for me, it’s anything but. For me, to hide my pace on Strava was to give myself a certain amount of anonymity out there in the big wide fitness landscape, to not draw attention, to just log the miles and chug away. Many of my friends are much faster than me – it’s nothing to see them clocking 6-, 7-, 8-minute miles for hours on end. And then here come my 12-, 13-, 14-minute miles, out there for all to see, and though I’ve always been proud of my race performances, been thrilled just to be out there moving for 13.1 or 26.2 miles at a clip, on Strava, I suddenly felt ashamed. Embarrassed. Exposed.

So early on in my Strava usage, I started hiding the Pace indicator for all my runs, so my friends wouldn’t see. It was akin to trying to hide behind the tall kid in class when I didn’t think I had the right answer. I felt sheepish, so it was easy to hide.

But as the months and years went on, the more sheepish I felt about the hiding, too, and the more I began to realize this just isn’t right. On the race course, I’ve never pretended to be anything different from what I really am: A stubborn, feisty runner who can go forever and ever, but who may not be really speedy about it. So why would I be anything but myself on Strava, of all places?

When I hit 44 years old in July, I decided: Enough was enough.

I’ve not hidden a pace since, and … the world has continued to turn. My friends have continued to like my workouts. They’ve commented when there’s something worth discussing, and passed on by when it’s business as usual. If they’ve noticed that suddenly my paces are front and center, they’ve not said a word. 

I’ve said it before, I’ll say it again, and I know its truth to the bottom of my core: Nobody cares. I mean that in the nicest possible way: NOBODY CARES! Everybody is waaaaay too caught up in their own lives, their own workouts, their own insecurities and triumphs to give two hoots whether I am running an 8-, 10-, or 12-minute mile. If they see my performance pop up on their feed, they’ll do as I do: Give it a like, have a peek at the pictures, and move on about their day.

There’s something to be said for putting it all out there. Most notably, over the past month I’ve noticed I haven’t felt ashamed of my pace even once! Now that I’ve decided to stop hiding it, it has no hold over me, and I’ve embraced it as just one component of my overall training profile. Yep, I’m a slower runner! I’m also out there grinding on the treadmill, or in the pool, or on the roads, or on the trainer nearly every day of the week. I’m also getting leaner. I’m also sporting a resting heart rate in the mid-50s. All of these things are true, and they’re all something to be proud of.

If you’ve been hiding some of your Strava stats – or maybe even your metaphorical Strava stats, keeping your light under a bushel! – can I make a suggestion? Try coming out of the shadows, just for a few days, and see how it strikes you. See how much better you might feel. I’m not joking when I say I feel lighter and more authentic now that I’m not clicking the little slider to hide my pace on every single run workout. I feel like I’m bringing my whole self to my training comrades. And that’s something to celebrate — maybe just as much as my 44th birthday!